When I was a kid in the 80s, I often daydreamed about my work life as an adult. I wasn’t sure what I’d be doing exactly, but I pictured myself at a big desk in a corner office near the top of a New York City skyscraper. I wore a sleek gray skirt suit and high heels, dictating instructions into the phone and getting in and out of the yellow taxis that took me to my big, important business meetings. There were flowers on my desk and a helpful assistant to bring me coffee. I had made it.

Of course, as I got older, this vision — which perhaps had been a little overly influenced by the movie Working Girl — began to shift. My dreams were more “creative job” and “published book” than “corner office” and “high heels” but I was still highly motivated by external markers of success, such as my title, my income, and the number of influential people who linked to my blog. I often looked to those traditional success metrics to help me understand what progress meant as I forged an unconventional career in a field without a roadmap. But using these measures to define my success had serious tradeoffs.

Why Joy Should Be Your Primary Success Metric in Work and Life

When you think about success, what does it look like to you? How do you measure it?

Many of us have been taught to measure our success through some combination of professional achievement, financial security, and social recognition. Practically speaking, success often means climbing the ladder, getting the promotion, gaining influence, and accumulating accolades.

But what if, in our pursuit of these external markers of achievement, we’ve overlooked the most important metric of all: joy?

The Problem with Traditional Success Metrics

Society trains us to view happiness as a series of hoops to jump through; we hustle and strive, racking up prescribed accomplishments in career, family, and material acquisition. But this view of success and happiness comes at a high cost.

The problem? We are constantly being forced to pit our future success against our present joy. We’re taught that success demands sacrifice, and that we cannot afford to waste a day basking in the sunshine or to let a deadline slip because we got absorbed in a creative project. We’re taught that hobbies are worthless unless they can be turned into side hustles. Vacations are a reward we get only when we’ve worked ourselves to exhaustion.

This modern prescription for happiness keeps us perpetually seeking, always reaching for the next achievement. Yet even — perhaps especially — among the most accomplished people, there is a profound sense that something is missing. No matter how much we achieve, we never quite feel satisfied by it or worthy of enjoying it.

The Arrival Fallacy: Why Joy Matters More Than Achievement

One sign that this way of measuring success is failing us is that we often reach our desired milestone only to find the promised happiness has somehow slipped through our fingers. Sometimes the goal took so long to achieve that we no longer want what we’d been seeking. Sometimes we’re already fixated on the next challenge. Psychologists call this the arrival fallacy: the illusion that achieving a long-sought goal will bring lasting happiness, only to find ourselves strangely unmoved when we get there.

Ironically, our habit of delayed gratification often bears responsibility for those big moments falling flat. We believe the sacrifices we make in pursuit of our goals will make the reward sweeter, but by denying ourselves daily pleasures, we hollow out our lives and create expectations that no milestone could possibly fulfill. By focusing on daily moments of joy rather than delayed gratification, we redefine what it means to thrive at work and in life.

What we often overlook is that a vibrant life isn’t built on occasional peak experiences but on accumulated moments of joy. Meaningful relationships develop through regular shared experiences — casual dinners, weekend adventures, or simple conversations. Career satisfaction stems not just from promotions but from finding daily engagement in our work. As Annie Dillard notes, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.”

The Science of Joy as a Success Metric

Though modern life often relegates joy to the margins, joy is our original success metric, evolved to indicate moments of thriving. We experience joy when we’re energized, connected, free from fear, and absorbed in meaningful tasks. By recognizing joy as a measure of true success, we gain insight into when we’re actually flourishing.

But joy isn’t just a reflection of success — it’s a powerful catalyst for happiness at work and overall life satisfaction. Research shows that joy enhances workplace performance across a range of metrics, from memory and creative thinking to problem-solving and productivity. Joyful salespeople generate higher customer satisfaction and repeat business. Joyful leaders foster more efficient and collaborative teams.

Joy also boosts motivation, aligning with its evolutionary role in shaping our preferences and behaviors. Studies show that joy creates a virtuous cycle at work. The more we enjoy our tasks, the more engaged we become, which in turn deepens satisfaction and sparks creativity.

Each experience of joy also increases our capacity for future happiness. Feeling joy literally expands our perspective, allowing us to take in more information through our peripheral vision and putting us on alert to opportunity. It primes us to be friendly and playful, and increases our likelihood of taking actions that further enhance our mental health. Psychologists call these upward spirals — positive feedback loops where joy effortlessly begets more joy, guiding us toward happiness.

Using Joy As Your Compass For True Success

When we use joy as our primary metric for success, we begin to see how choices in the moment impact our overall happiness. In my own life, this has led to a shift from focusing on how my life appears to how it feels.

This shift doesn’t mean abandoning ambition or responsibility. After all, it can feel really good to tackle big problems or show up for others at work, when we’re doing it in a sustainable way. For me, measuring my success through joy puts more focus on the process. If I’m going to spend three years writing a book, am I enjoying the work most days? Or does it feel like a stressful chore that I’m doing just for the recognition? Real success for me means finding daily moments of joy in the work (even if some parts are hard) AND feeling overjoyed by what it all adds up to at the end.

Redefining Success Through the Lens of Joy

To make this a little more concrete, let’s look at some ways that success looks different when we measure it through joy. Here are some ways to reimagine success:

1. Success as presence rather than accomplishment

Instead of measuring success by what you’ve achieved, measure it by how fully present you were in your life. Were you able to be fully engaged in conversations with loved ones, or were you mentally rehearsing tomorrow’s presentation? Did you notice the changing seasons, or did the year fly by in a blur of deadlines?

Ina Garten famously prioritizes presence in her work. Instead of setting long-term goals, Garten prefers to focus on doing her best each day, which allows her to be open to unexpected opportunities.

2. Success as connection rather than competition

Instead of measuring success by how you stack up against others, measure it by the depth and quality of your connections. Have you nurtured meaningful relationships? How vulnerable and authentic have you been with those you care about? Have you built a community where you feel seen and supported?

This lens on success really hit home for me when I published my first book. Having experienced cutthroat competition in prior roles, I braced myself for other authors to be protective of their “turf” and to have to get the word out about my book on my own. I couldn’t have been more surprised to discover how generously other authors celebrated and boosted my work.

I had always believed that I needed to be independent and feared letting my success depend on the efforts of others. But over time, I’ve learned that setting aside competition, leaning on others and letting others lean on me creates something far more valuable and unexpected than I could create on my own.

3. Success as alignment rather than achievement

Instead of measuring success by external achievements, measure it by how aligned your life is with your values and natural inclinations. Does your work engage your strengths and interests? Are you living in a way that honors what matters most to you? Do your choices reflect your authentic self?

Patagonia’s “Let my people go surfing” ethos epitomizes this idea of alignment. Founder Yvon Chouinard established a corporate culture where employees are encouraged to take time off when the surf conditions are good. This philosophy offers freedom and autonomy, trusting people to do their work in a way that allows them to align their lives to values of balance and spending time in nature, resulting in higher employee retention and stronger environmental advocacy.

4. Success as vitality rather than productivity

Instead of measuring success by how much you get done, measure it by your energy and enthusiasm for life. Do you wake up looking forward to the day? Do you have energy for the people and activities you love? How alive and engaged do you feel in your daily life?

This point is especially important given findings by Deloitte that 77 percent of workers have experienced burnout at their jobs, and that 70 percent believe that their employers are not doing enough to alleviate burnout.

5. Success as abundance rather than status

Instead of measuring success by your status or reputation, which depend on external approval, define abundance for yourself and measure your success against your own definition. How much of your day is spent doing things you genuinely enjoy? Do you have freedom over your time? Access to beauty or fun? How much influence are you able to have on causes that matter to you?

One way to think about this is the difference between status and wealth. While status is a “scarcity game,” where success depends on beating others out for limited rewards, wealth is infinite because you define it on your own terms. Wealth for one person might mean having the freedom to be able to garden at 10am on a Tuesday, while for another it might mean going out to dinner without looking at the prices on the menu. The key is that when we’re talking about wealth, no one needs to lose for you to reach your greatest dreams of success.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Joy As Your Primary Metric

Here are some practical ways to begin using joy as your primary metric for success:

1. Track your joy

Just as you might track your steps or your spending, try tracking your joy. At the end of each day, note the moments that brought you joy, no matter how small. Over time, patterns will emerge that can guide your choices.

2. Conduct a joy audit

Make a list of your biggest achievements. Which ones have contributed in a lasting way to your joy? Which ones seemed big at the time but didn’t bring lasting joy? What differences do you notice? Now look at your current goals and notice which ones seem most aligned with your joy.

3. Redefine your goals

For each area of your life (work, relationships, health, etc.), define what success looks like in terms of joy rather than achievement. For example, instead of “get promoted,” your measure of success at work might be “find work that makes me feel alive” or “build a network of like-minded colleagues.”

4. Identify measures of success (and celebrate them)

Part of taking a more joyful approach to success means not postponing joy until you reach big milestones, but celebrating smaller successes along the way. What are some mini-milestones along the way toward your joy-centered goals? If your goal is to work in a more collaborative way, perhaps you might celebrate when you’ve successfully invited three colleagues to coffee. If your goal is to feel more alive at work, you might celebrate the first time you come home and aren’t totally exhausted. The more you celebrate these milestones, the more you reinforce your definition of success.

How Joy-Centered Success Creates Positive Ripple Effects

When we redefine success through the lens of joy, the effects ripple outward into all areas of our lives. Our work becomes more creative and impactful. Relationships deepen and flourish. Our health improves as we reduce stress and increase positive emotions.

But perhaps most importantly, we begin to live in a way that honors our inherent worth and natural inclinations. We stop trying to prove ourselves through achievement and start expressing ourselves through joy. As we do this, we offer others a healthier, more sustainable model of success.

A New Definition of Success

Making this shift means rewiring a deep form of programming that tells us we are only worthy of joy when we earn it through hard work and accomplishments. This programming is deep and doesn’t shift overnight. Yet when we accept the idea that joy is our natural state, we start to remember that isn’t just a pleasant byproduct of success. It’s the very essence of a successful life.

What would change if you made joy your primary measure of success? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

To start putting this idea into practice, figure out your Key Joy Indicators here.

Image: The Confetti Project